Nearly everyone assumes it was a benevolent God that begat the world, few would hazard a guess that it was an ambivalent one. It is said that there was a bang and then there was light. In fact there was a scream and then the dark came into being. Before the dark there was Nothing and from that great ocean of nothingness sprang forth The Creator. It existed in that void until the birth of the universe from its will.
“Masters of Comedy” is what I hope will be an ongoing series where I will present some of my favorite comics and provide you a highlight of their material. For my first attempt at this I figure I’ll break out the biggest gun possible.
I’m not sure when a child becomes aware of his/her own mortality but for me it came very early, too early. I never thought I would live to see 30. When you take this fact into account my actions to this point in my life make a bit more sense. How else does a person with a genius level IQ end up working a dead-end job when the whole world was his oyster? It takes some explaining how I grew to not embrace, but accept the coming finality of my life. The place is just as good a place to start with as any, let’s travel back in time to 1980’s Miami, FL.
I don’t remember much about the first two months. I remember an intense blinding pain, then numbness as I suppose shock took hold. Then NOTHING.
After that I felt as great shifting of the world, as if a record had stopped playing on a turntable. I began to see reality the way it would be from now on. I finally looked at the world and didn’t recognize but knew I had to re-enter the world of the living.
I am not the sharpest knife in the old drawer but I consider myself a pretty smart guy. That said there is always room to learn new things. Well, is that really true? As I have gotten older I notice it is harder to learn things. I guess it’s the “old dog, new tricks” saying come true. It would be a blessing to be as smart or more to the point willing to learn as it was years ago. Time and age have dulled my mind a bit. I pretty much stopped learning important things and now I seem to have an encyclopedic knowledge of useless crap. It makes me pretty good at Jeopardy and trivia games but it’s useless in real life. So with that in mind, I present my list of “5 Things I Would Sacrifice For More Knowledge”.
Sacred Cows is a companion series to “Poor Taste”. In these columns I will take a big, steaming dump on movies which are either critically or commercially considered successful.
Movie Review: The Passion of the Christ (2004) starring Jim Caviezel. Directed by Mel Gibson
Plot Shot: The last hours in the life of Jesus Christ are chronicled in a brutal, unflinching manner. The most controversial movie in recent memory and a controversial review ensues…