Investigating Sexual Sadism and Murder

 

When I was 10 years old you couldn’t escape news about Ted Bundy.  Being a resident of Florida, the state which housed and would ultimately execute one of the most notorious serial murderers in history, the news was constant and pervasive.  I consider myself to be an extremely empathetic person, probably to a fault.  I will hurt myself to no end to alleviate other’s pain.  Ted Bundy was an anathema to me.  I was too young to understand or even grasp what a serial killer was, but it fascinated me how brutal and twisted a person could become.

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How Did I Get Here?

I sit here at my keyboard each day and hope, no pray, for some idea that will turn into something great, something entertaining. For people who don’t write it’s hard to understand why anyone would do this. I’m not looking for fame, money or anything tangible. If anything my search is for some kind of self-satisfaction. I continually go back to my past searching for a rational explanation of why this is the path I have chosen.

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5 Things I Would Sacrifice For More Knowledge

I am not the sharpest knife in the old drawer but I consider myself a pretty smart guy. That said there is always room to learn new things. Well, is that really true? As I have gotten older I notice it is harder to learn things. I guess it’s the “old dog, new tricks” saying come true. It would be a blessing to be as smart or more to the point willing to learn as it was years ago.  Time and age have dulled my mind a bit. I pretty much stopped learning important things and now I seem to have an encyclopedic knowledge of useless crap. It makes me pretty good at Jeopardy and trivia games but it’s useless in real life. So with that in mind, I present my list of “5 Things I Would Sacrifice For More Knowledge”.

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Sacred Cows: Hating “Lost in Translation”

Sacred Cows is a companion series to “Poor Taste”.  In these columns I will take a big, steaming dump on movies which are either critically or commercially considered successful.

Movie Review: Lost in Translation (2003) starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson.  Directed by Sofia Coppola.

Plot Shot: A “past his prime” actor and the young wife of a celebrity photographer meet in Tokyo and strike up a friendship out of sheer boredom and loneliness.  What is widely called “One of the best movies of 2003” ensues…  Coincidentally wonderment (on my part) of how this movie is called “One of the best movies of 2003” also ensues…

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In Poor Taste: In Defense of “Jason X”

“In Poor Taste” is a movie review series highlighting my love for certain movies others have described as “bad”, “not-so-good”, or “flaming piles of trash”.

DVD Review: Jason X (2001) starring Kane Hodder and Lexa Doig.  Directed by James Isaac.

Plot Shot: Old hockey mask is back and on a murderous rampage.  What is on the menu for Jason this time, killing campers at Crystal Lake? Nope, sorry, not this time folks.  How about mangling a couple of New York street punks, nada.  Hmm, Jason taking on a bunch of kids in space, no fucking way!!!  Yes, yes fucking way.  Carnage, hilarity and an underrated classic ensue.

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A Very SPECIAL Top 10

There has always been a stigma surrounding the handicapped in comics, cartoons and movies. It was if the things that made them different were somehow weaknesses, but we all know that sometimes a weakness can be turned into a strength and even the most physically or mentally challenged person can do wonders.  It is with this thought in mind that I present to you my Top Ten Handicapable Heroes. They are presented in order of who could beat your ass the fastest.

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Sacred Cows: The Power and the Gory – “The Passion of The Christ”

Sacred Cows is a companion series to “Poor Taste”.  In these columns I will take a big, steaming dump on movies which are either critically or commercially considered successful.

Movie Review: The Passion of the Christ (2004) starring Jim Caviezel. Directed by Mel Gibson

Plot Shot: The last hours in the life of Jesus Christ are chronicled in a brutal, unflinching manner. The most controversial movie in recent memory and a controversial review ensues…

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Spoilerific Transformers 3 Plot Breakdown

I had a lot of problems with “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, there is no denying that.  What may have gotten lost in translation is why I so viscerally despised the storyline.  I  alluded to plot holes but didn’t really give specifics.  In order to avoid spoilers I edited my review.  What I present below is my writer’s cut.  It should be patently obviously but if you haven’t seen the movie yet and do not want to be spoiled you should probably not continue reading.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review

Transformers: Dark of the Moon marks an uptick in quality for the franchise.  After a sickeningly disappointing second outing the third movie is a much better time.  There are still tons of problems but I enjoyed it.  It’s a fun ride full of insane special effects and action.  That stated I know this is going to get very negative, very quickly, so I want to give you my final score now and just let this shit descend into madness.  I give Transformers: Dark of the Moon a 7 out of 10.  Now let’s rev up the hate machine.

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